say what you need to say...

You better know that in the end its better to say too much





Than to never to say what you need to say again...

it's that time of year again...

...time to make resolutions which will always be in the back of our minds, but end up being things we'll never get to. my policy: the more u make, the better the chances of achieving one. let's start w/ the easy ones:

1) get in shape. my body's gone to h*ll. i treat it like cr @ p, and the sad part is i know it and i feel it. i'm done w/ the chest pains, i'm done w/ the shoulder issues, the headaches, etc. must be better to my body.

2) get my act together academically/work wise. wth am i doing? i have no direction. I need to decided where i'm going and how i'm going to get there. my whole life has been fooling around until I hit the point of no return where decisions are no longer mine to be made but rather a result of lack of time. time is now the enemy - the longer i go w/o making decisions, the more i waste. need a compass to life - something to make me feel like there's a purpose.

and...

3) improve my social habits. this is perhaps one of the hardest resolutions to keep. i'm tired of making excuses for not keeping in touch w/ ppl. i'm always taking the easy way out - one day turns to two, turns to a month, etc. i feel like i'm writing the same thing i wrote a year ago, so enough. i guess my fear is letting people in. the closer u let someone get to u, the more vulnerable u get. though inevitable, i don't want to feel pain. no one does. i only want happiness. when sh*t hits the fan, i always take the easy way out by ignoring issues and pretending to move on. no more. i have to be willing to take it. no pain, no gain... right? it hurts like h*ll and nobody knows...

well, my mind's shot. it's getting late...

happy new year. here's to a better year.

"...I apologize many times, but I'm human, and I'm selfish. got the feeling I should deal with this, but I'm hiding..."

"...life can be strange. good and bad in so many ways, and in time you will find that things are not always what they seem... well i've got something to say, but you might laugh, joke, or run away, cuz i'm awkward and nervous, sometimes i don't say much at all..."

oldies, but goodies

wcbs.fm is back. i don't care what they say - they play "oldies". as we head toward yet another trough, at least there's music...

"What happened to the world we knew,

when we would dream and scheme, and while the time away...

...Where did it go that yester glow,

when we could feel,

The wheel of life turn our way..."

"...'cause it's a long way down when your hopes are high as mountains, and i am worried that i'm falling..."

question

someone please explain: why is it that the harder you try to forget - the easier it is to remember?

"I am vindicated

I am selfish

I am wrong

I am right

I swear I'm right

I swear I knew it all along

And I am flawed

But I am cleaning up so well

I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself"