Thursday, December 21, 2006

No kids for me.

so bad news. well, i dunno if it's bad news per se, or good news for you. China's changing their adoption rules (for full article: China Tightens Adoption Rules). For those of you too lazy to read through it, which is sad because it's a short article and even I read through it, here are some excerpts:

"China is planning to issue new, tighter restrictions on foreign adoptions of Chinese children, which would prohibit adoptions by parents who are unmarried, who are obese or who are older than 50, according to adoption agencies in the United States."

"Some of the new rules focus on the fiscal, physical and psychological health of prospective parents. People who are taking medication for anxiety or depression can be disqualified under the new rules. Couples will be disqualified if either person has a body fat measurement exceeding 40 percent (30 percent is generally considered obese). And a prospective adoptive family’s net worth must now exceed $80,000.

Wow. So let's break it down, people who want to adopt a child from China must:
  1. pull a Britney Spears and marry any dumb oof;
  2. stay depressed and throw away their meds;
  3. get their stomach stapled, starve themselves, or undergo liposuction; and
  4. be rich.

So, guess it's official i'm never gonna have kids - cuz frankly, my gene pool should not be replicated and carried on. Adoption was a possibility, but looks like the government took care of that for me: 1) i ain't gettin married. 2) if i'm depressed, i definitely don't want kids. 3) i'm fat. and 4) definitely not racking in the big bucks here... i'm not really sad about it - b/c i can't even imagine myself trying to raise a kid. it's all fun and games when they're little, but then they grow up, and that's when u start to have major problems. here's a thought - everyone I know can have kids, and I'll just be like the santa clause who comes around once a year bearing gifts. of course they'll be cheap toys b/c i won't be able to afford n e thing, but toys nonetheless.

in other news: i heard on the radio this morning that New Yorkers surprisingly have longer life spans than the rest of the country... looks like it's time to move...

No comments: